The Importance of Female Friendship

The topic of female friendship has gotten a lot of air time in the blogging world. Lily wrote a book about it, Lizzy has talked about it a lot on her blog, and Liv and Charlotte did a podcast episode dedicated to the topic. I think female friendship has always been an extremely important part of my life, but as I've gotten older my relationships with my female friends have changed, and it's mostly been for the better. I've always been the kind of person that has a very small group of girlfriends, but the ones I surround myself with are extremely close. I've also been lucky enough to know some of my closest friends for a very long time, in fact my best friend and I have been friends since we were six months old. Because I've always kept a small group close, I've sometimes had a hard time letting people in. On the flip side, because I am very close to the majority of my girlfriends growing apart can feel devastating. Especially as I get further and further into "adult" life I've had to realize that friendship is not black and white, it's not necessarily either on or off, it ebbs and flows and that's ok. 

During my years in school (i.e. the majority of my life) managing female friendships were incredibly easy, which is mostly due to the fact that most of my friends went to school with me so it didn't require much effort to make plans and see friends. However, after college it became more and more apparent just how hard it is to constantly be seeing friends as much as you want whilst juggling a busy work schedule, family, and a relationship. I'm incredibly lucky that a lot of my friends decided to move back to the Bay Area and I get to see them on a regular basis, but it's so easy to take proximity for granted and not reach out as much as you should. Even if when I don't have time to see a friend in person, I've been trying more and more to either pick up the phone and call someone (what a novel idea) or send them a quick text asking how they're doing. I think one of the things I'm most grateful for about my group of girlfriends is that we all have a baseline understanding that even though we might not be seeing each other all the time once we do get together it will feel like no time has past. There are never any hard feelings if we haven't been hanging out every week, because at the end of the day we all work and we all understand that sometimes we won't have the time to see each other as much as we would in an ideal world. 

In all the madness of figuring out adult life and the transition from college to the "real world" (a term I really hate to use), I feel like I have a renewed appreciation for my friends and I've been so incredibly lucky to meet some incredible girls at work who have fast become some of my closest confidants. Spending time with my girl friends has been crucial in my staying grounded the past year, but especially in the past couple months when my stress levels have been off the charts. I also have a tendency to want to spend a lot of time with my boyfriend, but ever since graduating I’ve tried to make a concerted effort to spend time just with my girlfriends. I’ve never had the issue of neglecting my friends when I’m in a relationship, but especially since my boyfriend and I are moving in together in a couple months time, I’ve wanted to make sure that once we do move in we aren’t already in the habit of spending every waking hour together. If you’ve taken anything out of this long ramble of a blog post it’s that I underestimated how much female friendship plays an integral role in my life, and that coming into adulthood has made me realize how much time and care those relationships deserve. 

Little Things I’m Doing To Reduce Stress

I’m not going to beat around the bush, the past year has been stressful. Between graduating from college, struggling to figure out my career path, getting a job, and moving back home, my stress levels and anxiety have been majorly impacted. I’m definitely starting to feel more settled than I have in the past few months. Part of that I have to credit towards getting close to moving out and being excited about creating my own home with my boyfriend (a process which I’m really excited to document on this blog). However, a lot of my feeling settled also has to do with learning more and more about myself and figuring out what I need to feel well-rested and less stressed. Some of these things I already knew, because going to college wasn't exactly a cake walk, but it's still a pretty massive lifestyle change to go from student to working a full time job. 

One of the most important and toughest things to do to help me reduce my stress levels has been switching off and reducing screen time. I am guilty of endlessly scrolling through Instagram as soon as I get home from work because it's just so easy to revert to. I love consuming content and scrolling through inspiring imagery but it does anything but make me feel like I'm doing something productive with my time off. Same goes for watching TV. I watch a hell of a lot of Netflix and while it can be relaxing to watch four episodes of The Crown, it's not very restorative. Reading a book makes me feel so much more relaxed long term, and while it takes more effort, it makes me exercise a different part of my brain instead of just zoning out. 

I love to have a full pamper night but most days that's just not practical or even possible to commit to. I've been trying much more diligently to practice small acts of self-care on a more regular basis. Some of these things don't have to do with grooming, but I find that sometimes all it takes is painting my nails after a stressful day to make me feel a little bit better. Even something as small as doing 15 minutes of gentle yoga makes me feel reset and that I am taking care of myself.

One of the hardest things about my lifestyle at the moment is that I have a job where I don't often have weekends off, let alone two consecutive days off, which can make it extremely difficult to feel like I have time to fully rest before I start back at work. It's so easy to slip into the routine of spending all of my days off at home, in bed and watching Netflix, especially because most of my friends and family don't have the same days off as me. It's been a hard balance to strike between trying to get all of my errands done and getting in meaningful rest time. I've been trying more and more to spend my days off in a productive yet restful way, and it's definitely still a work in progress. I've found that getting out of the house is key to striking this balance. Even something as simple as going to a local coffee shop for an hour to write a blog post, feels so much more restorative and relaxing than just sitting at my desk at home and being distracted by an endless stream of YouTube videos. 

My Month in Film | April 2018

April is always one of my favorite months, not only because of the changing seasons but also because it’s my birthday month! I’m not one to make a huge deal out of my birthday, but it does tend to become a time to reflect on the last year, which I really like. I am very excited for this upcoming year and I’m starting to feel more and more settled in post-college life. As per usual this month has been pretty busy and seemed to fly right by, but luckily the month started with a trip to Colorado, which made for a pretty relaxing start to the month. 

My Month in Film | March 2018

First off I’m going to apologize for this post being so late. The end of March was super busy, as was the rest of the month. Even though it took me a little longer to finish this roll than it normally does, there were lots of exciting things to document this month. While it was an incredibly busy month, I had a decent amount of time off work both on the weekends and during the week to go on trips, see more of the city, and spend time with friends and family. It also helps that it finally started to feel like spring this last month, which had a huge effect on both my mood and motivation. 

The Importance of Self-Care & My Self-Care Routine

I recently talked about my journey with self-love and the more that time goes on I have realized how self-care is a necessary component within practicing self-love. Working full time and trying to get my freelance career going has meant that I have very little free time and the free time I do have is normally dedicated to seeing friends, being with my family, or spending time with my boyfriend, which means I have very little time to just be by myself.  As someone who is a true introvert, I need time to be completely by myself to feel energized and refreshed. I have learned, especially in the past few weeks, that taking time for myself and really being present for myself is absolutely essential for my well-being and feeling like I’m really taking care of myself. 

As I’ve become more and more aware of what exactly it is that I need to feel refreshed and energized, I’ve been able to implement a more solid routine for self-care. That’s not to say that it’s absolutely perfect, because it’s still definitely a work in progress and something that I will continue to hone in on. 

One of the most important elements of my self-care routine is unplugging. I am normally attached to some kind of device at all times whether it be my phone or my computer. As nice as it is to unwind by watching a load of shows on Netflix, it never helps me totally relax and feel like I’m doing something good for myself. The simple act of reading for an hour or so has a drastic impact on me feeling refreshed after a long day because it is done with a lot more intention. It’s also easier to stay present when I’m reading than it is if I’m binge watching Netflix or scrolling through Instagram on my phone.

Another element of my self-care routine that I really need to work on more is excercise and being more rigorous with myself about sticking to some sort of a routine. Oftentimes the nights where I would benefit the most from doing exercise are the nights that I’m exhausted from work and convince myself that I can’t possibly excercise. I would like to get back into a routine of doing yoga especially because it is easily the most relaxing and enjoyable forms of excercise I have done.

Finally, there’s the pampering aspect of a good self-care routine. In some ways I kind of hate the word pamper night, because it sounds superfluous and vain, but sometimes doing a face mask and taking a long bath is exactly what you need to feel human again. Lately I’ve really been enjoying doing epsom salt baths because not only do they help to relieve muscle soreness, but the magnesium is really good for you if you have very high stress levels. Even the simple act of lighting my favorite Byredo Bibliothèque can have a huge effect on my mood when I’m trying to get into relaxation mode. I have also gotten in the habit of doing more face masks during the week, some of my favorites include the Peter Thomas Roth Pumpkin Enzyme Mask, the Glossier Moon Mask, and the Glossier Mega Greens Galaxy Pack.